Does the idea of perfect inner peace sound too good to be true? Can you even believe that you could have perfect inner peace? Perhaps you believe that some far off spiritual teacher might have found it but it’s not accesible to you. Do you recognise that such thoughts are self-limiting…?
You’re going to need some convincing that it’s otherwise, I appreciate that. First let me explain why I’m writing this but if you’re really impatient or short of time feel free to skip the next paragraph.
I’m writing this because I was at my local Buddhist Monastery this week and found it a bit frustrating that whilst on the one hand, everyone there is seeking Nibbana, I don’t have the power to give it to them. That probably sounds about as pretentious as it’s possible to be, but I’m going to say it because I feel it and life’s too short. On the plus side, I had the opportunity to discuss Nibbana and no-self or at-onement (non-duality) with one of the senior monks and it was clear from our discussion and the guidance he offered me, that he knew exactly what I was talking about. He too had realised no-self. He’s the first person I’ve spoken to since it happened to me that shares this, and I feel tremendously encouraged by our discussion and the fact that this gift – the most precious of all gifts – is shared by at least a few others.
So where can perfect peace come from when the world is in such turmoil and even our personal lives are so up and down?
The rollercoaster of a life you’re on is caused by your attachment to the content of your life and your belief that this narrative is reality. I’m not trying to say that’s it’s not happening and it’s just a fantastical creation of the mind; what I’m saying is that to see it for what it is you need to see it in the context of all reality, which is far wider and deeper. I know you can do this because I’ve done and I’m not in any way special, I’m average.
Well, when you realise that all that you feel yourself to be – every thought, feeling, habit, tendency – is nothing more than the result of a cause, and that all of the manifest universe – what we call the present – is simply the result of a cause. When you see that the results of these causes inwardly is no different and not separate from the results of these causes outwardly, then you might be able to let go of this sense of personal self.
For me, that was it, I realised it and it just happened. To say I wasn’t ready or prepared for it may be the greatest understatement I have ever uttered, but where am I now? Inside there is a beautiful space, a complete at-onement – no self. There is no desire, no suffering and no emotions as experienced before.
When you read that last part it catches you doesn’t it? No emotions? What about love, surely you still have love? No, you don’t. It’s hard for me to put into words but the at-onement supercedes the need for love – all is one. In realising this you don’t need to love for nothing is separate. You don’t ‘love’ your fingers do you, they’re just part of you. That’s the best analogy I can think of for now.
But if you still don’t like the idea of letting go of the sense of separateness, of your emotions, then that’s perhaps what’s holding you back from realsing this truth, the at-onement of all and with it the release from the separate sense of self.
What you lose is nothing, the sense of self is temporary, not real, just a mode of consciousness. What you gain is perfect peace and freedom. It is accessible to you, in the living moment once you let go of belief in the sense of self as real. For those of you who are earnestly seeking this, ask and if I can help I will try.