Solving the urge to problem solve

When things happen we don’t like or life events transpire to upset us deeply mind responds in many ways. One of its favourite things to do is problem solve and it comes up with things you can DO to improve the situation. Energy arises and the compulsion to DO increases. DO, to get rid. DO, to stop what is happening. DO, to change what is happening and make it better. DO anything. Just DO! After all it just wants you to be happy. But ‘Doing’ usually leads to not looking. DO, bless it, ‘thinks’ that it can alleviate by distraction, and much of Doing is distraction. But distraction does not alleviate. It just puts off. What is doesn’t go away as it’s standing right where you are. Here. Now. Turn and face it. Like a visitor whose come round for a coffee and a chat. Invite it in. Sit with it a while. Get to know it. Be with it.

So, how to be with this guest? Writing is a used method here. Writing about what is happening, why it’s happening, what is felt about it, what emotions are present, any judgements or feelings about it all. Then I question most of it if it’s say an argument or somebody’s done something. Question how I know this, is any of it actually true, and especially any shoulds involved in it. If it’s an event like a bereavement then it depends on what comes up and how as to whether I question.

Another method much used here is making Art. I never question the urge to make, it’s just done. The body moves and I stay out of the way.

Lastly I just sit with it all; whatever is there in its entirety. Emotions may flow out whilst I’m doing this but that’s just fine. I watch it all. What is felt, how it’s felt, where it’s felt, the emotions coming and going, the symptoms if any in the body, including the compulsion to DO; the energy building or releasing. Whatever comes up I just watch. It has a reason for being there generally, and although some visitors stay longer than expected, they rarely stay forever. All things change and this too, shall pass.

6 thoughts on “Solving the urge to problem solve

    • I think you read this before it got tweaked! But thank you for the comment. There is indeeed nowhere to land. Sarah

    • Hi Tanya. Are you familiar with The Work by Byron Katie? You can google that. She uses 5 questions. The other way is to simply strip back and look under the thoughts. Thoughts will be telling a story about the anxiety (or more likely what might happen in a future scenario), but looking at the feeling itself and exploring it can give you a different perspective. Paying attention to the body for instance not the thoughts. Does that make sense?

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